The recipe for a midlife crisis

Is this 42?

Fun fact, this tattoo is my Mom’s signature and I know for a fact that she is still disappointed that I did this to my body.

Change is on the horizon for me—energetically, and I know for many others too. My purpose has always been to nourish, whether that be as a dancer, a chef (come to my FREE cooking class on May 7th!), a food entrepreneur, a writer-type, a dinner party host, a mother, a wife, or through my psycho-spiritual coaching work. I also genuinely love nourishing myself.

Right now, I’m not doing my best work—to nourish myself or anyone else. I’m stuck in a major rut. Caught in a monotonous, unfulfilling, and predictable routine, I’ve built a habit stack of thoughts and actions that isn’t always serving me. Layer in a lack of motivation to push my growth edge, and you’ve got the recipe for a midlife crisis. This newsletter—and a few other small actions—are the exceptions. But for the most part, I feel deeply embedded.

I’ve seen this pattern before, but not with this intensity or duration. It usually signals that something good is on the horizon—if I take action. For me, that might mean reprioritizing how I eat, move, or sleep, refining my tech hygiene (anyone else?), being more present with my kids and husband, learning new skills, and reconnecting with my healthy, boundaried edge.

A midlife crisis is not a rite of passage for all. It certainly doesn’t have to be the proverbial buying of a fancy sports car or dramatically Miranda Julying your life—it might just feel like a quiet, internal struggle. For some, it can be a time of growth and transformation, leading to new paths that align more closely with your true values.

Lately, I’ve been prioritizing reconnecting with people from my past— dozens of people I’ve long admired. It’s been a reminder that my world is so much bigger than this routine I keep. It matters who I surround myself with: smart, motivated people who are kind, brilliant, and creative.

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a CFO/COO type, and it woke something up in me. I was reminded that I do know a lot about business—that I can hold my own in conversations about finance, HR, and leadership. I just don’t get to flex those muscles much in this current, monotonous season. I rarely strategize with a large team or sit at the table with people who have more experience than I do. More often, I’m the one making the decisions alone, putting out fires, doing the hard thinking—and giving myself performance reviews.

But the feeling of stuckness isn’t just about work. It’s tied to a deeper desire to uplevel into the next version of myself. That means getting curious, owning my flaws out loud, and asking myself much harder questions.

Is this 42?

Here are a few techniques I’d offer to my coaching clients—tools I’ll be leaning on myself in this season of life. The cobbler always has holes in his shoes, right?